Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Really this is more an excuse to tell you 'bout Needless rather than being Weeaboo Tiem again...

Oh god, OH GOD Needless.

You may not be into anime, in fact...you might hate it. But if you're that type of person who hates anime but happened to secretly like the anime "Teppo Tengen Gurren Lagann," then do I got one that's right up your alley!

Battles, martial arts madness all over the fucking place, POWERFUL POWERRRRRS, MY POWER IS GREATER THAN YOURS IS-an, and tons upon tons of tits and ass.

This is basically distilled S.Cry.Ed (for those who have read the manga, it's practically the fucking same) with more lesbionic teenaged chicks. Hell, they even call themselves "The Beautiful Girls Squad," and the sheer amount of delicious peaches rubbing together is fuckin' phenomenal! Nothin' too x-rated, hell not even r-rated really...but man, NC-17 to the friggin' maximum.

In b4 "THEY'RE LESBIANS THEY DON'T LIKE GUYS" everyone likes everyone. Also in b4 depraved bisexual.

Suffice it to say, the over-the-top vidyuh game style battles is what gets me so goin' on about this show, ESPECIALLY what they do upon defeating someone. JUDGEMENT: EXECUTION indeed!

Well, just take a look for your goddamned self, it's fuckin' awesome!

Okay, so you're not into J-Rock? Plus I gotta admit, that's less a trailer and more just a bunch of shots strewn together with the first seasons opening song playin'...so perhaps a bit more is needed to slake your curiosity? Here's episode 1 on Youtube:

MAN, it completely sucks balls that this is only two seasons long...and the entirety of the second season takes place in the main badguy's tower. But hey, if you can put up with fifty episodes for one power-up at Namek on DBZ, then you can put up with this shit...especially with all the fuckin' battles, no filler.

Just pure fuckin' banghead-hard violence with no excuses beyond "I'm gonna KILL this fucker!"

Or am I gettin' it confused with one of my own stories? Oh well...

So I've been keepin' it reaaaally classy as fuck as of late, watchin' this anime series loosely (actually, a lot more than they suggest) based on La Comte de Monte Cristo called "Gankutsuou." If you've read either the Count of Monte Christo or have seen the Johnny Derp version of Sweeney Todd, then you know damn well what the plot is: dude gets conspired against and is thrown into a (intergalactic) prison under false charges, while his conspirators each profit greatly from his downfall and rise up the ranks of Parisian noble society...especially his best friend, who tells the man's fiancee that he has died and, in her sadness and despair, she marries the best friend instead, the friend who has always coveted her since the three were friends as children.

BUT, the story doesn't end there! After ten long years the man, imprisoned yet innocent of his crimes, sells his soul to a demonic creature who ALSO was held at that intergalactic prison and in exchange for granting him invulnerability, strength of will and power the man will give Gankutsuou his body and soul.

What unravels from there is a WONDERFUL piece of drama that is immeasurably powerful, truly the fucked up goings-ons of those with too much power and not enough sensibility (let alone morals) and vengeance.

Sheer, beautiful vengeance.

The drama is brilliant, the parallels to it's source material (The Count of Monte Christo, have you read it? By Alexander Dumas? Go read it right now if you haven't, then thank me) is far closer than a simple "loosely based on" merits. I swear certain scenes were taken right from the book, and handled beautifully. Even more so, the art style they chose uses this layered-on photoshop of what I would at least consider to be highest quality, if anything because of how visually striking it makes everything look. It's almost like watching living murals at times, much in the same way I've said happens in Soul Taker (not that crappy movie that got destroyed by MST3K but, rather, the anime that I swear to God defined my way of thinking about story presentation during 2001-2005) what-with all the murals and the mind-trippiness of the beauty...

Now, while we're on the subject of amazing works of animated stories, I've recently stumbled over this series called The Guin Saga. It's pure, hard fantasy in the same sense of Record of Lodoss War and Rune Soldier, or even Bastard!! (one of my all-time faves, both manga and anime), but it stars the titular Guin, a powerful warrior of hand-to-hand as well as swordfighting prowess. A battle strategist unparalleled, he also has laser-targeted amnesia like a motherfucker and only actually remembers that his name is Guin and the word "Aurra." He also has a leopard's head. Not a leopardskin over his head, his head is a fuckin' leopard's head. Despite this he has the body of a human and just, overall, seems to be under a curse.

It actually starts with the invasion of Parros, a city that has long since gone soft without having to fight, by their neighboring country, intent on killing their king, queen and the "Twin Pearls of Parros," a pair of twins with rather notable abilities and powers. The young twins are teleported out of there by this Tower of Jannis (or however ya spell that) and instead of being sent towards their loving aunt (a ruler of yet another country) and protection they are instead, buffeted by the winds of fate (so it would seem in the manga, not that I've read it) they're sent dead into the heart of their neighbor country, ten days ride in over a few seconds.

There they run into immediate trouble with a guard post...and the freshly awakened Guin who proceeds to wreck their shit with pure, open-handed violence.

From there they go on to acquire a monkey-girl princess and a mercenary swordsman with a sixth sense for danger (apparently if he disappears, you know trouble's about to hit).

Y'now, fuck the rest of the shit: it's all about watching what amounts to a fantasy-version of King (or Armor King) beat the crap out of everyone he comes across, and even if he seems to comply and simply goes along with things it's only because he's going to allow you to rope him and the kids up...and he'll beat your shit down later.

Seriously, he's such an amazing fighter it practically dwarfs the amazing storytelling, characterization and interactions not to mention this wonderfully fantasy world...

Well, you get the point.

The entire anime (24 episodes when, apparently, there's like 600 fucking volumes for the manga!) is made of pure Tekken boner and badassed bravery. If you don't like that or hardcore fantasy, you should stay FAAAR away from this one!

BEWARE, no english in this trailer:

So let's summarize with this list of stuff to watch! Just plug this into yer search bar:

Needless (YOU NEED TO SEE THIS! Serious, Masami Ohbari weeps with pride for this 'un!)
The Guin Saga

There! Now THAT is more than enough to eat up an evening or three! Next post I'm gonna have a mixed bag, namely this Dutch little animated flick that's just pure fucked-upness...it's like Pretty Woman if it wasn't a peice of celluloid fantastical bullshit.

You heard me...I friggin' hate Julia Roberts. Horse-faced sallow-chested whorebeast...how can ANY of you think she's hot? Then again I say the same damn thing about every single chick in Sex and the City, even Kim Catrell!

Heather Locklear though, NOW we're talkin'!!!!


  1. You had me at lesbians... I will check this out!

  2. @Jammer - GUUUUUUUD! VERY GUUUUUUUD! ^^)b

    @ICOTD - Dude, I am TOTALLY in lesbians with ya for that one! Needless is too fucking good, and needs to be shared with friends both unknown and across the street.

  3. Japanese anime is hit-or-miss for me. For every Miyazaki that I love, there's a "Dragonball Z" that I hate.

  4. Have you ever seen Tengan Toppa Gurren Lagann?

  5. @FGBastard - I don't mind Dragonball Z and I prefer it to, say, Metalarm Angschemist: Brotherfriends (which is pretty much the same goddamn series only halfway through it sticks with the manga storyline), but yeah...there's so many carbon copycat "me too" style anime series out there that it's kinda scary. Maybe not for storyline, but DEFINITELY for looks...

    On the other hand, the MUSIC...that shit just gets me headbanging in a heartbeat.

    @Devour - Cool~!

    @Dan - Why hello there, cutie pie! Yeah, I was just being a lazy American and forgot to verify EXAAAACTLY what TTGL's name spells out.

    Dude, actually spot my next Netflix This post once I get it done...Netflix has a weird glitch where episode 8 (the episode where Kamina friggin' dies, SPOILER ALART BEE TEE DOUBLE-YEW!) instead shows episode 9...and it shows in the opening recap that Kamina dies outta friggin' nowhere.

    And yeah, I've seen it front to back and back to front and more porn of it then you'd probably ever believe existed. BUUUUUT yeah, TTGL was awesome when I first saw it and it was awesome when I re-watched the series. Now I'm tryin' to get my Partner-In-Crime to watch it then that glitch happened...

    Suffice it to say, she's kinda pissed and rightfully so. I was friggin' enraged! I mean, it took quite a bit to talk her into watchin' it with me (at first it inexactly wasn't her cup of tea), but then she grew to like it...then THAT happened!!!!

    Friggin' grarggalphage...

  6. Oh god oh god, what to comment? So much in one post! Fuck your posts are MONSTER! KILLER!
    I'll comment on the wee-a-boo part and only say three words: HANNAH FUCKING MINX
    Favorite anime is Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu btw, you should check it

  7. I agree on the Locklear comment! I'll check those anims out as well.